I'm sorry about those 8 years.

And although there is no excuses, I was not well then. I was sick, I was delusional, I thought I could find G*d through the sensual, sexual. I thought I needed darknes.
I was mostly hypomanic, on occasion full blown mania-

it was real, but it wasn't valid.

now, i'm happy- not that dark heaven elixir type of drunken ecstasy, just this simple lithium induced happiness that i wouldn't trade in for the world.

I'm sorry. Now, from this truth, that finally distance and medication did provide- I'm deeply, truly sorry.

The End.

It's been almost 16 years that my friend's and I have been hanging out on-line. And sometimes it has been essential. When I was 22 and certifiable it was my only way of communicating with the people that I loved. I remember back then it was via University systems or Prodigy. Them old days.

Collectively we decided to remove our presence from the inter-net. This is the final post to kunbeats, to finaldeparture, and to 49what which is mine and mine alone, and the only site that is not pass word protected.

Sky decided it was time to be done with it, because our teenagers our giving us hell, and it's kind of a full time job to track their on-line activity, and we demand no secrets from them, how can we have a secret, 3 secrets and not allow them any. Though we know they'll have them, it's such defining part of ones personality, our secrets.

Also, Lane thinks it immature a way to exclude, and for once I agree with her.

Let's see Sky is in Vermont, painting, and waitressing. Lane is in San Antonio, dancing, and selling old OLD things.

Jackie never did come back from the Orient- she is giving her girls a world that is bigger than a pin head.

Dwin, is in Taos, finally- she took the old shack and has made it into the most beautiful Yoga center in the world.

And me yes, I know most of you think I took the cowardly way out. But isn't that what defines a writer, cowardice- and the lies that we tell?